Little did she know...

Woke up Tubthumping stuck in my head on Saturday. Seemed like a good anthem for work.  This is a much better time waster, however :) New Favorite Awkward Kid. Eeeps! Tomorrow is the New Year, btw. Lots of changes. Lots of superb memories from 2012. Not quite the epic travel year of 2011, but hey. Sometimes you need a holiday from the holiday? That's what I keep telling myself anyways.  See you on the other side, friends.

...but who doesn't love a beat-boxing cellist?  "Jesus, you're the one who saves us,  constantly creates us  into something new."

Before I started my job, I only remember death significantly affecting me two times.  The first was when my grandma died a slow death from Leukemia. I remember how she looked the night she died: still and peaceful, as if she was sleeping. I remember how my mom touched her, as if she really WAS just taking a nap and my mom was somehow comforting her. I couldn't bring myself to do the same, but I also couldn't stop looking at her as if to convince myself of the fact that she really was gone.  The second time was when my grandpa died barely a year later, quickly and unexpectedly, all by himself. I was a new driver, driving myself, my dad, and my brothers to my sister's house where I was going to go on a road trip. We were listening to the Nebraska game when news of his death came by phone. It took my breath away and almost rendered me useless at the wheel. I remember how he looked in his casket, not like himself at all. Not the goofy, loving grandpa I knew. That gran...

...but what else is new, right?  Ladies and Gentlemen, I introduce Ben Howard. How I have lived so long without knowing his lovely voice is beyond me! I have to give full credit to my gal pal Leah for introducing me to him (as she has countless other artists). Back when we lived in the same dorm, I knew I could always count on her to pick up my slack and finish whatever song I randomly burst out singing. Ah, those were the days. Now I just look like a crazy person all by myself.

"Smell my Folgers." "I don't wear pants anymore." "I see dead people." "My bottom feels good!"  "I killed a man once." "I don't get to cut clothes off of people nearly as much as I'd like to." "If you limit your perception to what you expect, you will miss realities..." Happy weekending, folks! May your shift be as busy as you want it to be.

a little bit of happy in a song ps happy december.

we're busy saving lives and killing time around here.

I have missed most of The Voice this season, but this girl and her voice. Oh man.  And then she chose to sing this song. Which I have been loving for since Internet Explorer tried to redeem themselves by using it in a commercial. Internet Explorer should just give up. But I thank them for introducing me to Alex Claire. Happy Music Monday on a Wednesday.Music

Ok, so it only took me like a million years to get that whole picture situation figured out. But I don't believe in blogging without pictures, soooo I had to fix that problem. Obviously. And I missed music monday. And I have no idea where this week went or what I have done with it exactly. SLOW DOWN, life! Eish. Ok. Without further ado, the rest of DOT. I have a love/hate relationship with this road . and by love/hate I mostly mean that I love to be done driving it. But every time i get out of the BH and onto this road, I am blown away by the wide open spaces. I forget how big the sky is. And how empty the roads are. And how spectacular the sunsets can be.  these guys . Half of us were missing from the annual Thanksgiving craziness that goes down at the homestead. The aunts and uncles with their sibling jokes and arguing and food preparation. My siblings joining in with their own nonsense. And the nieces and nephews running around adding to the crazy. We couldn...

i have been trying for the past hour or so to upload pictures to post for the final day(s) of DOT, buuuut, google says i have exceeded my picture storage. and that i have to buy more. not actually acceptable. a little annoyed. grrr. until i solve this problem, here's one of my new fav Mumford and Sons songs: Hopeless Wanderer. "Hold me fast, 'cause I'm a hopeless wanderer. And I will learn to love the skies I'm under."

thankful for this  perspective . thankful that i don't have to worry about safety, or food, or water, or losing someone i love. my mind can't grasp the daily horror that these people have to go through. this music video. because who doesn't love knobby knees in a kiddie pool. and an ugly dog. #musicmonday these podcasts . for keeping me awake while i drive. these guys . brothahs. and buddies. they speak sibling language. and call me out. and relieve boredom. and willingly participate in pointless arguments. and dish out the sarcasm/teasing/nonsense. and make me laugh a lot. and listen to venting. and challenge me with their relationships with Christ. they are quite the catch, ladies! (but you'll have to pass inspection first, mmkay?)

i forgot #11! (except not really. i just skipped)  Thankful for this study. And how it talks about the reality of our sinful, sinful selves and asks the hard, probing questions that cause you to look deep and then choose what your response will be.  Thankful for the group of people that meets every Sunday night and opens hearts and shares struggles and takes time to pray together about the burdens and the joys. Thankful to see Christ being lived out in front of me in such a tangible way. God is good.  Thankful for the excuse that a hockey game provides to get together with friends and  yell our lungs out and and eat junk food and laugh over coffee afterwards.  Thankful for the group of kids who keep me accountable. They humble me every single day with how blessed I am to know them and how huge of a responsibility I have to be committed to investing in their lives. They make my Wednesday awesome.  Thankful for a sister who m...

these guys get me. every time.  favorite. #musicmonday #thankful

thankful for hiking adventures. and road trips just 'cause. adding "climb devil's tower" to my bucket list. thankful for projects and creativity outlets. and netflix and chocolate cake and tea. excited to share the finished product with you guys! thankful for laughing til I am crying with these guys.  the nurses look at us like we are s.trange. that's ok. we are. thankful for these words from Titus 3: "Remind them to be submissive to rulers and authorities, to be obedient, to be ready for every good work. to speak evil of no one, to avoid quarreling, to be gentle, and to show perfect courtesy toward all people.  For we ourselves were once foolish, disobedient, led astray, slaves to various passions and pleasures, passing our days in malice and envy, hated by others and hating one another.  But when the goodness and loving kindness of God our Savior appeared, he saved us , not because of works done by us in righteousness,...

this latest addition to the living room. and by addition i mean the giant black bean bag. (pardon the mess, i'm still in the process of rearranging and moving xtra furniture out) dirty dishes: because it means company (and especially company that does the dirty dishes) :)  a quick pick up game of touch football  ( still get rules confused with touch rugby)  Fall leaves and Fall sunshine (mmhmm. and would you look at those long shadows!) sovereign grace music: singing this song with thousands of other Christians at the Desiring God National Conference was just super amazing. I have long been blessed by the music ministry of these people. Good for the soul.  [also, #musicmonday]

I've been planning to start up the thankful posts in November again for a while now. Number one, because there's a whole lot to be thankful for and number two, because it gives me an excuse to be creative with my picture taking. Anyways, today I have felt anything but thankful.It's been one of those days. In fact, today has been pretty crummy; SUPER crummy, even. One of those days that leaves me with an aching heart and an aching head. But a large reason for that is because I have been self focused. "If only people knew how hard of a day I am having, they wouldn't be so... NORMAL.Why do they look so happy, anyways? It's ok for me to be rude right now because I am having a crappy day." Sometimes it's a lot easier to wallow in my self pity than to give it up and focus on others. Who am I kidding? It's ALWAYS easier to wallow in self pity than to focus on others. So today? I'm thankful that God's grace never runs out. That he gives...

hanging out with this guy at work. even though he makes me sneeze. how can you say no to that face? 

I fin.ally got their new album " Babel ." and it's been in repeat. obviously. a little obsessed with these guys.

getting complimented on my driving from little old men who just asked if I had a driver's license. being asked by a little boy in the gas station if i am a secret agent. beating Folgers lovers to the coffee pot. when the floor nurses remember my name sans name tag. wearing horrible red trucker hats all day and getting strange looks from EVERYONE. finding out about the doctor's secret love life. getting a discount at Wendy's because of the uniform. dying laughing over the radio while trying to talk to dispatch.  just laughing at the stupidest things, period. knowing all the words to Taylor Swift's "We are Never Ever Getting Back Together.". strategically hitting the breaks when my partner is walking in the back.  knowing i made a difference.

"So have you always been a fan of Piper? Is that why you're here?" she asked with exuberant eyebrows, already anticipating a yes. I gave an awkward laugh. Uh well. Not exactly. . .  The truth is, I haven't had a life long desire to make it to a Desiring God Conference, I haven't read more than one complete John Piper book, and I have only listened to maybe two whole Piper sermons. So why pay for the conference, hotel, food, gas and take over a 10 hour drive to make it to this weekend? Other than encouragement from sibs and peers, and appreciating/anticipating the subject matter (sanctification), and having a group of friends to go with.... I didn't really have a big reason to be at the Desiring God National Conference. But talk about a refreshing, encouraging, challenging weekend! Absolutely worth it. I kept getting asked who my favorite speaker was, or which was my favorite session, and I didn't really have just ...

a year ago i was excited to the point of no sleep, checking off endless mental lists, second guessing packing, wondering what in the world i had gotten myself into, so stoked to be getting on a plane to Joburg.  nothing i had read or watched or asked about could prepare me for the exchange of Google maps for tangible streets. i spent some exciting days at SIM headquarters in Charlotte, NC getting debriefed and prayed for and encouraged and cautioned and discipled in preparation for leaving the US and being immersed in a different culture halfway across the world. i was about to leave the country and the people that i knew best for a whole different way of life. at the start, three months seemed like a forever long period of time. however, by the last week of craziness in the life that i had adapted to, three months seemed like i had blinked and suddenly it was over. nothing had prepared me for coming. nothing could prepare me for leaving. it was one of the hardest weeks of ...

somehow, i still get astonished at leaves changing color. people in school. cool mornings. pumpkin spice lattes. how can it be that summer is actually over? yet the reality that september itself is practically over keeps slapping me in the face. ready or not, here comes fall! summer was a crazy blur. one of my friends laughed at me for saying "i have been busy. but i am not entirely sure what all i have been doing." it's been road trips and weddings and flights and reunions and family and friends and routine and swapping work schedules and building relationships and quality time with teenagers and camping and hikes and goodbyes. it's been good. but crazy. if someone were to ask me what my definition of summer is it would sound a little like this: it's nights still too warm. a breeze on my bare arms. river wading. stars, lots of stars. it's the sway of the hammock and reading by christmas lights on the back patio. it's long walks and talk...