Hello there. It's been a while.
Where to begin? Since I last posted in January, a whole world of change has happened -both in the actual world, and in my little world.
I began this year with a real world reminder to hug the ones you love as one of my friends died. His daughter reminded me to tell my dad that I love him; to treasure time with him, while I still could.
My dad came to visit me in February. He slept on my couch and I forgot to make him coffee. We went out to dinner before he left and as I hugged him and told him goodbye, a little thought in the back of my mind whispered "this could be the last time you see your dad."
I was 8 months pregnant at the time. I barely fit in the booth at the restaurant.
A month later, my husband and I drove to the sand hills of Nebraska to get some maternity pictures and spend time with our family. On March 22, 2016, at the golden hour of sunset, we celebrated the life of the baby inside of me. A few hours later, we got the news that my dad died.
God's timing is perfect, and his faithfulness was shown in a thousand little (and big) ways over the hours, days, and weeks to come. The Body of Christ, the Family of God, the Church -what a gift to see the love of Jesus poured out on my family.
Those are days that I waffle between talking matter of factly about, and having an emotional break down about. Certain moments and details will take my breath away and make me want to cry when I think about them still. Maybe it will be that way forever. Maybe I will eventually forget.
A month later, my son was born.
Joy and Sorrow. Laughter and Tears. One goes out, one comes in.
I am fatherless.
I am a mother.
I am both of those things, but I don't want those things to define me.
I want love for Jesus to define me, to shape me, to direct me. What exactly that looks like is a whole different blog post.
But for now, I am daily learning what it looks like to be faithful and thankful with what God gives me, where God has me.
"In all my sorrows, Jesus is better -make my heart believe.In all my victories, Jesus is better -make my heart believe.Than any comfort, Jesus is better -make my heart believe.More than all riches, Jesus is better -make my heart believe.Our souls declaring, Jesus is better -make my heart believe.Our song eternal, Jesus is better -make my heart believe."
I began this year with a real world reminder to hug the ones you love as one of my friends died. His daughter reminded me to tell my dad that I love him; to treasure time with him, while I still could.
My dad came to visit me in February. He slept on my couch and I forgot to make him coffee. We went out to dinner before he left and as I hugged him and told him goodbye, a little thought in the back of my mind whispered "this could be the last time you see your dad."
I was 8 months pregnant at the time. I barely fit in the booth at the restaurant.
A month later, my husband and I drove to the sand hills of Nebraska to get some maternity pictures and spend time with our family. On March 22, 2016, at the golden hour of sunset, we celebrated the life of the baby inside of me. A few hours later, we got the news that my dad died.
God's timing is perfect, and his faithfulness was shown in a thousand little (and big) ways over the hours, days, and weeks to come. The Body of Christ, the Family of God, the Church -what a gift to see the love of Jesus poured out on my family.
Those are days that I waffle between talking matter of factly about, and having an emotional break down about. Certain moments and details will take my breath away and make me want to cry when I think about them still. Maybe it will be that way forever. Maybe I will eventually forget.
A month later, my son was born.
Joy and Sorrow. Laughter and Tears. One goes out, one comes in.
I am fatherless.
I am a mother.
I am both of those things, but I don't want those things to define me.
I want love for Jesus to define me, to shape me, to direct me. What exactly that looks like is a whole different blog post.
But for now, I am daily learning what it looks like to be faithful and thankful with what God gives me, where God has me.
"In all my sorrows, Jesus is better -make my heart believe.In all my victories, Jesus is better -make my heart believe.Than any comfort, Jesus is better -make my heart believe.More than all riches, Jesus is better -make my heart believe.Our souls declaring, Jesus is better -make my heart believe.Our song eternal, Jesus is better -make my heart believe."
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